My Baby Day's Are Over...

Well, I felt like I needed to come on here and just blurt everything out because I'm feeling a little emotional tonight. Emily was my first, everything she did was a first, all the milestones she hit (and continues to hit) were firsts. With Isabelle, it lasts, as she is our last baby, and we treasure that milestone hitting moments just as much as we did the first time, but in a different kind of way. We treasure them differently because it's the last time I'm going to experience those moments with my own child. She is the last baby I will have, which is a little sad and something I'm still struggling to come to terms with as nothing really beats squishy baby cuddles but I know it is the right thing for me, and our family. My body just couldn't handle another pregnancy - anyway I'm going a little off topic here.

I'm emotional because my squishy little baby isn't really a baby anymore. I was enjoying the fact she was quite a lazy baby. She didn't really have much interest in learning to crawl or walk. She was happy just asking her sister to get things for her, and shuffling on her bum. Then all of a sudden it just changed, she had been toddling for a little while, but now she's a fully fledged walker, and she is absolutely everywhere. She's running after her sister, climbing on furniture when I'm not looking (and falling off it to give herself two black eyes - but that is a whole other story), she has just gone from nothing to basically running.

If that wasn't enough, she has also decided she no longer wants to sleep in her cot. At just 15 months she has moved into the bottom bunk bed and is happy sleeping in there. So much so that today I actually dismantled the cot - and I'm feeling really sad about it. That cot has so many memories attached to it. Before it was Isabelle's it was Emily's. It kept both my babies safe, there were many nights where I stuck my head around the door to check on both of them, and just stood there thinking how lucky I am, and now, it's gone. I've taken it down, and I'm not going to have any more babies to fill it. Just like that, a chapter of my life is finished, I no longer have a baby, I have a toddler and I have all kind of mixed emotions about it.

I love the fact she is so independent and has transitioned into a bed so easily, and on her own terms. Then, on the other hand, I feel like she is way too little to be in a big bed like that already. She's so small, surely she should still be in a cot? She is so much happier in the bed than she ever was in the cot and I guess that is what I need to focus on. She was waking up three or four times a night in her cot, she was constantly kicking the bars and trying to climb out, it was just becoming a little to dangerous. The girl's cot does turn into a toddler bed but I thought it was just easier to move her straight into a single bed, seen as Emily is already on the top bunk. It also means that the girls have so much more room in their bedroom to play, and they have now got their teepee back up. I just feel like our baby days are well and truly over now and that is really sad.

Of course, I am so proud that she wanted to move into a bed, and that the transition has been such a smooth one, she just looks so tiny in the big bed, that it is a little overwhelming. Please slow down little squish, we want to keep you small for as long as we can.

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