Who do you trust your children with?


When I was pregnant it became apparent that my parents thought I should leave Emily with them every other weekend to stay over night. I was so shocked by this, why would I do that? I brought my child into this world, and I wouldn't have done so if I planned on palming her off on other people. If me and Sam were separated, he would have her one weekend and I another because that is the way it works right? So why is it because we are a couple that Grandparents think they can have her every other weekend? Now don't get me wrong, when Emily is older and of a age where she understands sleepovers, that may change, but from newborn? For me this was a big no. I didn't want her to stay away from me, what if she needed me? 

I understand that not everyone is the same and it completely depends on the parents and the parenting style. Some parents have a handful of people that they would trust to look after there child. Others have a select few. I personally can't do it. Emily is one next month and I haven't left her side. Some may say this is unhealthy and it will make her a clingy child but I disagree. I feel a lot more comfortable and a lot less anxious when I am in control, when she is with me and I know what she is up to. As Emily's parent I believe that is my responsibility. Choosing who I would want and trust to leave my baby with doesn't come easy, and as I am sure you will guess I haven't found a person who I would leave her with.
Most parents turn to there parents, for me this just isn't the case. My mum doesn't understand how I feel regarding my anxiety, she just classes me as being a over protective parent. Emily has a lovely godmother, but I just wouldn't trust Emily in anyone else care. That is not to say that my friends or family are not capable of looking after her. They would probably do a amazing job if they had the chance. However I feel like Emily should be with someone she knows 100%, someone who she is familiar and comfortable with and sadly she isn't that close to any of our family, and doesn't see them very regularly. I couldn't bare the thought of her being with someone else while we were out, what if she took a tumble or couldn't get to sleep because she wanted her mummy or daddy. I would honestly feel like I would have let her down in some way. 

I understand that there is going to be plenty of people who read this and completely disagree, and I am fine with that. Everyone has a different opinion. Everyone has different parenting styles. I can't be the only one though, am I the only person who feels like this? Who is anxious and paranoid about being away from my baby. The only person I whole heartily trust is Sam, and I guess I just feel like I don't trust anyone enough to leave Emily with them.  

2 comments

  1. I completely understand where you're coming from. I will only leave my son with my mum because she's the only one I trust, but even then I do have to phone constantly and leave a set of instructions. The hardest time is the first time, and it can only be done when you're ready and comfortable with the idea. I often stay at home with my parents for days on end so I'm able to see how my son interacts with my parents and that makes me feel more secure. x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jaxon is 13 months and the only times we've slept places other than home were on holiday or hospital. He's started sleeping through a bit better in the last couple of days but I think it would still be too disorientating for him if he woke in the night to be comforted by someone other than me, even Chris going to him in the night sometimes confuses him because I do it 99.9% of the time. Since Jaxon was born we've been having "issues" with Jaxon visiting my in laws house because it's not Jaxon-friendly - especially now he's getting more mobile and puts everything in his mouth (Today we had two stones, a napkin ring, a dummy, three different cups of his and my water bottle) so when he puts his hands in the dog hair it's going to end up in his mouth and you don't know where on the dog the hair came from (Eugh!). Add to that the level of other animal droppings that have been transferred onto the carpet unwittingly and it doesn't bear thinking about (anyhow!!). Admittedly my parents house isn't 100% Jaxon proof and somedays my Mum does warn that the carpet needs a vacuum but overall their house is better suited to him if he needed to stay over at short notice for example (chances are if it was an emergency my folks would sleep in our bed and then Jaxon could be in his cot but that would depend on the circumstances).

    Either way for now as far as overnight goes, Jaxon comes with us or we come home to him. Babysitters there's a selected few that he stays with but they nearly always come to our house and I try to put him down before I go out because in theory that causes the least amount of disruption then.
    He'll nap at my parents house or we'll try and coordinate what i need to do around naps where possible so that he can just play.

    ReplyDelete

© Raising Emily

This site uses cookies from Google to deliver its services - Click here for information.

Blogger Template Created by pipdig