Friendship

Do you ever feel like you've grown out of your friends? I can honestly count on one hand how many friends I have, and that doesn't always seem like a good thing. Some friends are only meant to hang around for maybe a year or so, while another friendship may last a lifetime. I have one friend who is literally obliged to be my best friend. We've known each other forever (literally forever, we grew up on the same street). I trust her with my life, and she's grown with me, We do have similar traits, and find the same things funny. However there are some people who I thought were my friends who clearly are not, for example they only talk to me when it suits them. If you scroll threw your news feed on facebook. How many 'Friends' from school can you hand on heart say you talk to? For me it's none. These people add me, and then don't talk to me. I get a happy birthday - but they clearly only know it's my birthday because facebook informed them so. I just don't get the point in it all?

There are obviously ways to tell that a end of friendship has arrived, it could be distance, or your both at different stages in life. I'd love to hold onto my best friend from school, but unfortunately that is just not possible - we evolve, change, things happen, life happens. 

I can hear it now, what made you start this blog post... well let me explain, due to the fact there is quite a few things that made this post happen. 

1. When I had Emily, I never announced that I was pregnant. Facebook did not know, therefore those 'so called friends' didn't either. When I gave birth to her I received a message that went something like this.. "how did I not know you were pregnant let alone gave birth!!! what the frick now that's saying hello we need to catch up." Clearly you didn't contact me for a whole 9 months - so why would I want to catch up now?

2. The 'friends' who knew I was pregnant, met Emily once when she was born and then vanished. It was like because I had a baby and they didn't I ended up not being good enough anymore. Just because I became a mother, doesn't mean I am any less Steph. 

3. The 'friends' who were mothers themselves and decided that I was now cool enough to join there little group - because I had a baby. That to me isn't friendship, and it's far to complex and clicky for me to even get my head around. I'm 22, I'm sure high school groups are way behind me.

4. The 'friends' who literally wanted to meet my baby and not me, then after they saw her for the first time, that was it. Never again.

I just don't get it. Being a parent has been one of the most amazing, scary, complicated, and stressful things that has ever happened to me, and I love every second of it. I just don't like the fact I feel so lonely. I literally get frustrated and annoyed at these posts on my facebook newssfeed. To the point that I actually go and un-friend people. Is that normal? 

Anyway, I am thankful for the two special girlies in my life, who never fail to make me laugh, always bring the wine and chocolates, and who are always at the end of the phone whatever day or time it may be. That's true friendship. Let me know your thoughts - do you think it is possible to outgrow someone? have you been through it yourself?






4 comments

  1. Oh I can identify with some of this. Life really does change when you have a baby and some friends do seem to drift out of your life as a result. For me it has been more because our lives have just moved in different directions. When my daughter was diagnosed with her heart condition, I found that some people who were my closer friends at the time weren't the ones who were really there for me - in fact, I've become much closer to a few friends who I'd hardly spoken too since university but were the ones who were really there. It is funny how friendship can evolve and change so much. I'm glad you have a friend who you've known forever - my sister has the same and I slightly envy her that.

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    1. Since I've had her they seem not to care anymore, it's like they have a little switch they've decided to turn off. It's nice that you found some real friends during the hard times you faced! my life time friend is always there for me thank god. Couldn't be without her, she also happens to be my hairdresser too! Sure has its perks! Thank you for stopping by.

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  2. Hello, I've just come across your blog. I can relate too. Friends do come and go in your life. It's sometimes better to let go and sometimes you never see those 'friends' again but some do pop back up when you least expect it or when you need them the most :)

    www.ourseasidebaby.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Hey, Thanks for stopping by! I think maybe its for the best that me and those so called 'friends' don't talk anymore. x

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