Baby group or not?

Yesterday, me and Emily met up with one of my friends, She's got a little girl who's two months older than Emily. So it was really lovely to see her, but it also is the first time that Emily has ever seen another baby. It's safe to say she absolutely loved it, she kept reaching out, and giggling, high pitch screams and giggles. It was so cute, and lovely to see. She had a really nice time, and when we got home she was exhausted. However, it has left me feeling really guilty.

There is a baby group about a 5 minute walk from where I live, it would be perfect for Emily, she could meet other babies, and it would be good for me to meet other people too. It all sounds perfect doesn't it? but it's not that simple. My anxiety literally stops me from taking Emily, I panic, over think it and end up not going. I've walked all the way to the door before and turned to come back home. I'm scared of the judgement that might not be made. I have no confidence when it comes to new people, I would literally be that scared mum sitting in the corner with their baby looking awkward. I promised myself that after Christmas I would try my hardest to at least go to a baby weighing group, I still haven't been. Chicken or what!

I mentioned it briefly to my health visitor, and I wish I didn't say anything at all! First she made me feel really guilty by saying "Emily would thrive on meeting and socializing with other babies". Then after telling me that the anxiety I was feeling should be disregarded because it is as easy as that right? She referred me WITHOUT my consent to some lady from the child center. Maybe she thinks that she is helping, but she's just made the whole thing worse. The lady came around from the child center to meet me and Emily, she then went on to say how non-judgmental the baby group was, and that I should go. She then said now you know me, you can come without being scared. I'm still going to be scared, I don't know this lady, I've seen her for 20 minutes, I've forgotten her name, and the whole time she made me feel uncomfortable and like i'm a terrible mother for not going!

The thing is, now this lady has come to my house she has completely put me off the whole idea of baby groups. I'm scared more now than I was before. I'm also left feeling guilty, and like i'm making Emily miss out on something. I've spent my whole day worrying, and crying because of it. I should feel like that. I know it isn't something that I'm deliberately doing but it still makes me feel like crap. 

Did you take your little one to a baby group?

7 comments

  1. You poor love - I'm not exactly sure how your health visitor thought that sending someone round to tell you to go to group would help?! Would your friend with the baby come along with you one time? Or your mum? There are quite a few grans that come along with some of the mums at my local playgroup xx

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    1. I'm not sure how that helps either. If i'm honest i think taking someone with me would make it worse because i would then be depending on them to go with me all the time, and i'd never go :( Thank you for stopping by xx

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  2. The only groups I did with indiana was a baby and mum group and baby massage, and that's it! I hated the thought of people judging me and tbh I loved spending time just me and indie. I wouldn't worry, she's thriving from spending time with you! Xx

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  3. Sorry - posted too soon! I love baby groups & they really are my saviour when L is offshore! Once you've been a few times you will no longer be the new one and as your child grows up they are great for meeting new people to spend days in the park & have play dates with! Xxx

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  4. I don't take my little girl either, i've brought her a few times but it just wasn't for me, we do do little play dates with other mums n little ones tho and go to soft play. x

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  5. It was really unfair for her to say and do that to you!
    I attended briefly with my eldest but my mum used to take her along for me after that, I feel awful about it now as I took my youngest for a short while but at the time it just really wasn't something I could handle. I found focusing on Daisie and switching everything else off around me helped a lot (easier said than done I know) I've never been one to mingle much but enjoyed being in a bubble of just me and my little one. I know this hasn't really helped much but know your not alone and don't feel bad Anxiety is a nasty little bugger, I'm only ever a click away if you need an off load x

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  6. Not sure if my comment worked! But basically... you shouldn't feed bad for not going to baby groups - they're not for everyone. You're doing a great job and Emily is perfect. Nicki x http://www.onthechangingmat.co.uk/

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