Letters #4

Dear my gorgeous little girl.
I can feel you kicking right now and it kind of inspired me to write this, you don't understand how loved you already are and you haven't even taken your first breathe yet. I still can't believe that your actually in there, you've been there 25 weeks now, It still doesn't feel real. 

I want you to know how much we fort for you, We went through 3 miscarriages, which were really tough. We'd lost hope when I fell pregnant with you, but i'm so thankful, and feel so blessed to have you. Especially after all the scares we went through to have you. Sometimes I feel a bit anxious about meeting you, and being a mother. Having the responsibility for another life seems a bit daunting. I'm worried i will fail you, or you wont be happy when you grow up and it will somehow be my fault. Your daddy always reassures me i'll be a good mum, and you'll love me, but it doesn't stop me worrying.

I want you to know how much I love your Dad, We are lucky to have found each other, he's my soul mate. He is a good man, with the best intentions. He is kind to me, patient, considerate and very loving. He's also so excited about meeting you, He loves feeling you kick, and I want you to know he shed a tear when we had our first ultrasound.

I hope I still love your father as much when you read this as I do now, and I hope he loves me too. Life can be unpredictable and cruel. I hope we are strong enough to keep our love strong, one thing I know is that we will both still be madly in love with you. My only wish for you is that your happy, and find someone who loves you as much as we do. No matter what you set out to do in your life, I hope it brings you happiness and you succeed. I hope that you'll be able to trust me with all your problems, I want to be more then just your Mum, I want to be your friend too. I never had a close relationship with my Mum, and I hope that's not the case for us.

I do wonder what you will think of me when you read this. As I write now, I have no idea when I will give this letter to you. Perhaps you will be a stroppy hormonal teenager and hate me. Perhaps you will be expecting a child of your own. Perhaps I will be dead. At the moment we are still young adults, but that's all about to change. I guess I just want you to know that we were young once, and that we were full of character and passion who had love for simple things. I think this is something children can't quite grasp about their parents, I certainly couldn't with mine. I hope I am still the person I am today, but better and stronger. I want you to know i'm looking forward to meeting you, and I want the change you will bring into my life. I really hope you like me.

It doesn't matter how big you get, you will always be my little girl.

Love, Your Mummy.


2 comments

  1. Awww this is so beautiful. Really touched me. I can tell she's a special little girl already ♥
    Thanks for linking to #babybabble xx
    Carsonsmummy.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you, not long left till she is here! I can't wait.
      x

      Delete

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