Clingfilm painting

Coming up with new and fun idea's to do with a baby is really difficult. Especially when you want to encourage them to explore different things, and textures but without the mess. I've always been a fan of arts and crafts, painting, play-dough, well anything that can create a mess makes me wierdly happy! One of my close friends Gemma say's that she is useless with crafts. Quote "it's too messy, and I like it to be perfect!"

This is a quick, easy, mess free activity, sounds appealing right?

Birth experience


The 7th September was a big date for us, we anticipated it, I thought about it non-stop, it made me anxious, and nervous and excited all at the same time. Much to our dismay it passed by with pretty much nothing happening, because my due date was on a Sunday I was booked in on the Monday to see my consultant if nothing had happened. Monday came, I took my very pregnant self to the hospital, in tears because I could no longer take the pain, the discomfort and stress of baby E being late. I had a sweep on that Monday to be told that I was in fact 2cm dilated. Frustration set in when I heard this. It seemed to be going so slow. The consultant Liliana was absolutely brilliant, she listened to all my worries and concerns, and booked me in to be induced on the Saturday. I wanted Emily to be born, and I was at the 'Get this baby out' stage, but I really didn't want to be induced. I wanted it too happen naturally.

I have written about my birthing experience, and the unexpected events that happened. However I'm not so sure that I will ever post it. While it has been really therapeutic writing about it, and getting it all out. I don't think I have quite accepted what happened. It helped me to process things, and also filled in a lot of blanks for me. Most of my labour was a haze, and the things I do remember weren't very nice. 

Reindeer booties!

When my postman arrived today I was far to excited. I'm a massive fan's of my 1st years personalised baby gifts, since Emily received a musical photo keepsake box as one of her christening gifts from her grandparents. I cannot praise them enough, The customer service is amazing, we were expecting a delay in our order, rather then keeping us waiting and guessing they sent us a email informing us of the delay. I think many companies expand, and become larger, they're products are more in demand and sadly they forget there customers. One of the things I loved about my 1st years is the fact they make you feel like a valued customer. They take the time to think about the little things like packaging. Each item you purchase is presented in a gorgeous little blue box, with a white ribbon. Something simple, but very effective. In my opinion its much more appealing then a plain brown package. 

3 month update

When your pregnant, god time seems to slow right down. However as soon as you have that goregeous little baby in your arms, you want things to slow down, in a blink of a eye they're sitting, smiling and giggling. 


If you follow us on Instagram, you can watch Emily grow.

Salt dough ornaments

These easy to make ornaments are going to be one of my new Christmas traditions. I have only ever made these once before with my Nan, but I was so small I didn't actually make the mixture myself. Having Emily has made me want to do more things, and capture more memories. I think these will remind me every year of her first Christmas and just how small she actually was. They are so simple and easy to make, but they look so beautiful. They are perfect for adding that simple, home-made loved touch to your Christmas tree. Something that your child will be proud of too. 

To make these you will need:
1 cup of plain flour
1 cup of salt
1 cup of water (you probably won't use a whole cup)

my mood diary



I know I've been missing for a while, I abandoned ship when I had Emily, Came back for a short while and then disappeared again. I have missed blogging, I do miss my blog, but things just haven't been feeling the same recently. I've become this hermit, stuck in my little depressed self. I thought going back on medication would help. I know it really isn't a magical fix, but it's worked for me before, It balanced me out. However this time it's different, I tried it, gave it two weeks with no joy. They doubled the medication, And again it made no difference. I started these tablets to make things easier, I realized the other day, I was taking the medication to control my life, but somehow it's ended up controlling me. I was depending on them, and getting frustrated when they were not working. Then it was making me want to take more. Which isn't going to fix the problem, It can also be a really bad road to go down.


Oh Christmas tree

Sooooooo, I have a confession to make, I put my Christmas tree up in November, I couldn't help it. The coca-cola lorry advert is on the television. It's officially Christmas time! As you may or may not know, We haven't long moved into our little home, So the only Christmas decorations we currently have up is the tree. Here is some snaps for you too see.


Christmas Decor

Picking our Christmas decorations is always a tough one. This year is a lot of firsts for us, It will be our first Christmas as a family of 3, It's also the first Christmas that both me and Sam are not working and its the first Christmas in our own home. Last but not least it's Emily's first Christmas! The advantage of it being our First Christmas in a new home is we have no tree, and only a few tree ornaments from last year. This year there are a lot of gorgeous decorations, because our lounge is brown, we are going for a red and gold theme. Personally I like red and gold because it always feels more festive. So here is my little wish list of bits i have been lusting over.


These are just a few little bits I've found, to be honest I much prefer going into a shop and looking at all the decorations. Don't worry though I'll be sure to write a blog post all about it!

are you going for a theme this year?

2 month update

Emily is 8 weeks old today, a whole 2 months! Doesn't time fly. Here's a little picture of my little beauty. It's taken a lot for me to post this of her.

If you follow us on Instagram you can watch Emily grow.

She weighs just over 9lb 6oz. I can't believe that people actually push out babies that big. Ouchie! Sam's cousin had her baby 2 weeks before I had Emily, completely natural birth, and she weighed a whooping 9lb 11oz. I have to hand it to her, I wouldn't have been able to do that!

Anxiety & Me

This blog post is completely out of the blue, but it is something I want to talk about, and I think will help me if I write it all out. When I first started this blog, It was more for my own personal escape then anything else. I wanted a place where I could ramble away, I could let it all out. Now I know all too well that this world that we live in isn't always a very nice place, People can be judgmental and hurtful with thier comments I'm well aware of that. I myself am one of those people that takes everything to heart, Even if it wasn't meant in a horrible way, it effects me and bothers me no end. I'll stick a smile on my face but deep down inside it is eating away at me. I've had a lot of good and bad feedback regarding my blog, I find what I do put on here is just a 'little part of me'. You see the bits of my life that I want you too see. Honestly, if I am having a bad day, then I tend not to blog, but I'm questioning why I do that. After all this is my blog, It really doesn't bother me if 1 person reads it, or none at all.

Christmas, Gifts, & Shopping

Well it is official, the holidays are coming, Christmas is well on the way. The shops are bursting with gift wrap, and cards. Not to mention all that yummy chocolate that we will be complaining about in January. The big brands are bringing out there magical Christmas adds and It's officially Christmas now the Coca-Cola advert has graced our televisions. This Christmas is going to be even more magical for us, it's our first Christmas as a family of 3. Even though Emily will only be just over 3 months old, I want it to be special. After all you only have one first Christmas. There is always going to be pictures for her to look back on when she is older. 

I've been fighting with myself as to whether I purchase gifts for Emily, Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely want to, and there is plenty of things I would love to buy her, but is it worth it? Let me explain myself before you bite my head off and brand me a evil mummy. Emily's still going to be really small, she isn't going to understand much, I know she will love the Christmas tree lights, and the amount of attention she will get, but she is the first grandchild, and the first great-grandchild on both sides. As you can imagine that means she is a very loved and spoilt little girl. She has already been brought so many lovely, thoughtful gifts. There isn't actually anything she needs right now. She has stacks and stacks of clothes from 0-3, 3-6 and even 6-9 months.

Emily's 1st Halloween

I just wanted to share a few photographs of Emily's first Halloween with you, We carved some pumpkins. Well I carved the pumpkins, which might I add they were completely hand drawn and they took me ages. Emily dressed up in a really cute little cat outfit, she had a matching pair of socks, and a little bib too. 

I hope you all had a happy Halloween!!

My mood diary


Things have been very hard emotionally. Since Emily has been born I have really struggled with knowing how I feel. I love her, she's gorgeous, and I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to bond with her. However I was very relieved that I didn't feel that way. Emily is now 7 weeks old, 8 on Friday, and it's just starting to kick in. I suppose its a mixture of having a baby, a not so perfect labour, and the moving. Then not to mention all of the various problems that we have faced since moving in. I have to admit it has really took its tole on me. I knew I was going downhill, I am loosing interest in things, and finding it really hard to get motivated. I don't want to get out of bed, I am also struggling with Emily. I felt like no matter what I did it wasn't good enough. 

Baptism

There is a lot of mixed opinions on baptisms (sometimes called christenings), For me personally it's important that Emily is baptized, it's a chance to welcome her into the church, and say thank you for having her. I don't attend church every week, and by no means would I preach my religion to other people. In my mind and the way that I was brought up, religion is a personal thing, something you don't need to broadcast or tell everyone about. It was always my intention to get my child baptized, even though Sam wasn't baptized and isn't religious, he knows how important it is to me. 

Recently I've been feeling a bit down in the dumps, and many things have been going more wrong the right. Yesterday I spoke to the vicar at my church, and he agreed to baptize Emily. I'm so glad that it is him that is baptizing her. More of a sentimental thing than anything else, The vicar baptized me, and my brothers, he was also the one who married my mum and dad. Then to top it of, my Nanna said I could lone the dress I wore for my christening. I know it may not be to everyone's taste but to me it is the most special and gorgeous dress I could hope for my daughter to wear. As I have said, I wore the dress, but so did my Aunt, and my cousin, and my Nanna wore it herself too. So it is a very loved and family air loom if you like. I put two pictures on here, just so you can see how gorgeous it actually is. I love the lace detail.



Baby, house and blog news!

Well it actually seems like it is a lot longer then it has been that ive been gone, I have missed blogging, but at the same time so much has been going on that I welcomed the break. This is going to be a catch up, and believe me when I say there is a awful lot to catch up on, so sit tight, grab a brew, I'm having a nice one as I write this.  I'm sorry if i ramble on a little bit, I can't help it I've missed being able to sit and blog.

Baby news!
If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, You will be well aware that I gave birth to the most beautiful and perfect little girl! Emily Anne. I had her on September 12th at 16;38, weighing 6lb 13oz Considering she was 5 days overdue I think she was pretty little! I didn't have a great labour, which just matches my pregnancy. I will be posting my labour story later for those who are interested. Becoming a mummy has been the most amazing, but challenging experience of my life - but I wouldn't change it for the world. 

Bump update

How far along: 40 weeks
Total weight: 98 kilos
Stretch marks: yes. 
Best moments this week: As you may have noticed I've been missing a lot recently, pregnancy is certainly taking it's tole on my moods this week. Meaning I haven't actually had any 'best moments'. 
Miss anything: being happy, something so small. My moods have been so all over the place, the SPD pain that I'm having, the sickness, and general questions you get asked by everyone soon leave you feeling exhausted!
Movement: Baby E has been quite quiet, I know this is just down to the fact that she is running out of room in there. 


Antenatal depression

I've been seeing a lot of postnatal depression blog posts recently, while I think it is fantastic that it is becoming a more recognized and thought about mental health problem, but little is known or documented about depression during pregnancy. I denied the fact I was pregnant until I was about 20 weeks, I wanted a baby so bad, but after three miscarriages, finally falling pregnant definitely took its tole on me. Pregnancy is, of course a emotion time. Mood swings and the general expectation that mums to be are supposed to be happy, over the moon, full of excitement and anticipation. This however wasn't me at all, I spent my days in denial, and having anxieties that things would go wrong with my pregnancy, I wouldn't be good enough, and I genuinely believed I wouldn't be good enough for E. All of these feelings, combined with the fact I had stopped taking my medication for my depression meant i got diagnosed with Antenatal depression

Bump update

How far along: 39 weeks
Total weight: 96  kilos
Stretch marks: yes. 
Best moments this week: Making it this far, It is such a accomplishment considering how much we've been through in this pregnancy, I didn't think that the end would be in sigh!
Miss anything: I have said it in previous bump updates and people have mistaken me for being selfish, but that is just them taking it the wrong way - I miss my body, now I know your thinking i mean my figure and whatever, But it isn't that at all. I miss being healthy, and happy! Pregnancy hasn't been easy, and sadly I really haven't enjoyed it, I tried my best to enbrace it, but it just isn't for me I guess.
Movement: Baby E has been quite active this week, but in a different way, I feel like the kicks/movements are more in my back then my tummy like they were before. I know for sure the one thing I will miss about pregnancy is knowing that she is safe in my tummy, and I can feel her moving around. I'm sure once she's born I'm going to be a mess with worrying about her. 

Honest feelings


Our housing situation seems to be the thing that is really getting to me at the moment, I've been thinking about it a lot, and I've been debating on weather or not to write this blog post for a long time. Both me and Sam would love to be able to buy a home, but at the moment that just is not practical for us, or possible for that matter. When I found out I was expecting I put our names down on the council list. Previous to this we were living with my parents, which isn't practical either. 6 adults in a tiny little 3 bedroom house, and then not to mention there would be a new born. The other thing about my family is we are all quite high tempered when were in close proximity to each other - like most people I'm assuming. I have to say I didn't hold out much hope for the council, and so far I have been right in not pinning all my hopes on it. Houses constantly come and go on the bidding system, and we were officially made homeless by my parents back in July. It's not the nicest situation, but like I said, 6 adults in one house is to much, and my mum just couldn't deal with it all anymore. We are currently sofa surfing, We have no settled address, and we spend two nights here, then two nights there. It isn't ideal, and at 39 weeks pregnant it become stressful very fast, but what else are we supposed to do?

Bump update

How far along: 38 weeks
Total weight: 96  kilos
Stretch marks: yes. 
Best moments this week: Washing Baby E's stuff, I know it may seem like something silly and small but it made everything feel so real. I can't believe shes actually going to be here real soon!
Miss anything: People talking to me rather then my bump. I also miss sleeping on my back at night, It's too uncomfortable, with the extra weight of my bump, and the weight that I've gained on my boobs, when i do lay on my back i feel like I'm suffocating!
Movement: We had a little trip to the day unit again this week, because little lady didn't move for a whole 24 hours, I had another CTG, and wouldn't you guess it, as soon as they hooked me up to the monitor she kicked. Such a stubborn mo. I'm sure she just likes to make us worried.

Excuse my jumper! This is actually Sam's but none of my jumpers fit me now, and I was cold!

Money Monday

Budgeting has always been hard for me. Especially when it comes to food shopping, I end up getting drawn in by the two for £2 offers or the buy one get one free. It's so easy to get. Drawn in by the pesky yellow labels! I end up spending £40-£50, get home and realise I have nothing for tea, but lots of crisps, chocolate and fizzy pop.

Supermarkets are perfectly thought out marketing enviroments, they think of every way to draw you in and seduce you into buying things you don't actually need! For example placing the most brought items spread around the store, which in effect makes you walk the whole length of the store. While your walking you see all of the other things you wouldn't necassarily want or need. Including the so called bargains!

Meal planning
This is something I have always done, because I used to work 12 hour shifts (before maternity leave) 3 days a week it was easy to plan ahead for the days I was working. This way I had all the ingredients I needed, I just had to throw it all together! It also made me really think about what I was buying and if I actually needed it - which obviously cut the cost dramatically. I think it actually helps that I enjoy cooking and I think it helps when you know exactly what your putting into your meals. I really dislike all of the processed foods you can buy these days, but that's just a personal opinion. 

mood boards

With our housing situation not being ideal, and us waiting to move into our own place. I've been feeling unprepared, with way to much time on my hands. Don't get me wrong i have all of Baby E's stuff purchased, I just can't put it together and decorate her nursery. However I did create a mood board, so you can see all the bits i have already, and all the bits i still have to get (which isn't a lot really). Basically i just wanted to share my vision with someone other then my good old ipad.

Bump update

How far along:  37 weeks
After all the false starts, illness and everything else, we officially made it to 37 weeks! Very proud of us.
Total weight: 95 kilos
Stretch marks: yes, sadly.
Best moments this week: Spending quality time with Sam, which i have missed and have kind of taken for granted a bit because i have been feeling so down.


The C word

They're singing deck the halls, but its not like Christmas at all, I remember when you were here, and all the fun we had last year, Christmas, putting lights on the tree, Christmas, I'm watching them shine, Christmas, you should be here with me, Christmas, mm baby please come home...
I'm sorry, I cannot contain it anymore. I have tried, but I can't. It's the C word. It's been eating at me for days. By C word I mean CHRISTMAS! One thing you may not know about me is I absolutely love Christmas! It's my favourite time of the year. I love purchasing gifts, decorating my house, then I end up doing my mums, and my aunts, sometimes my Nan's. Yes I'm a little bit over the top, but why not? I bet you have something you get excited about to, for most people it's birthdays, I don't like mine so for me it's christmas, and you know what - I'm absolutely fine with that!


Date night

This weekend, Sam decided he was fed up of me moping, and we decided to go out for something to eat. I have to admit, I'm a food lover! There is nothing more I love doing then going out with Sam for food, and soon it wont just be the two of us anymore. It seemed like the right time to take advantage of that fact, I know once Baby E is born, we can get family to babysit, but I'm not really sure how I feel about that at the moment.

We decided to go to The market cross in Dunstable, It's only recently opened this year, and we've never been before. However it is definitely somewhere we will go again in the future. It has a excellent menu with a lot to choose from, you could order from the menu, but they also offered a carvery option. I even had a little peak at the children's menu which looked just as tasty. Both me and Sam had the Bacon and cheese burger. It was absolutely gorgeous, and the size of the meal really shocked me, I thought it would be average size, but when it come out it was massive. Sam had doubled his burger for a extra £1.50, and he really regretted doing so once he saw the size of it. The burgers were lovely, and came with a side of chips, onion rings and coleslaw. The food was served very promptly after we placed our order, it was perfectly cooked, and hot. 

Bump update

How far along:  36 weeks
Total weight: 95 kilos
Stretch marks: I do have stretch marks, I have been applying moisturizer during the whole of my pregnancy, but at the beginning the moisturizer made my skin flare up and get all blotchy, I wasn't aware until investigating the packaging that it contained Almond oil. I have a sever nut allergy, which is why i reacted so badly to the moisturizer! However, they may fade after I've had Baby E.  
Best moments this week: If i'm honest, I haven't had a very good week, I've been feeling more depressed and down than normal. I also had a terrible time at the hospital, which didn't help. You can read that post here.


Honest feelings

*Warning; This may be a bit of a self-pitty post. Sorry!*

I know I was trying to blog everyday in August, and sadly I failed. Yesterday, I was in absolute agony. I have honestly never felt a pain like it, I had a show in the morning (discharge that's a pinkish colour). I was booked in to see my consultant later that day so I didn't really think there was much point ringing the midwife to tell her, I would wait. when I got to see the consultant, I told her about the show, and the pain I was having. I previously got taken into hospital (back in July) because I was in 'pre-mature' labour. That started with what I thought was a stitch, which got more intense over night, and turned out to be premature labour. The consultant examined tummy, she said it was quite tender and hard, she was also concerned about Baby E's movements. She also said that Baby E's head was down, and I was suffering from SPD (symphsis pubis dysfunction) which was why I was having a lot of pain in my pelvic area, but she was unsure as to why I had pain in the top of my tummy. So she sent me over to the day unit, to have a CTG, (monitors the baby's movement, heartbeat and uterine contractions). Everything was normal, Which obviously is a really good thing, but I had to go back the next day for another CTG, and a Growth scan. I was also told I would see my consultant, who assured me we would try and find something to help with the pain I was feeling!



Meeting my soul mate

How we met
I was up playing xbox one night, with one of my friends - Bridget. We were playing Call of duty: black ops 2 (incase you were wondering). The thing about Bridget is she is the most random and unexpected person I know, She gets the most random idea's and goes with it. Which is what happened this night. She had created herself a meet me profile (previously known as myyearbook), and enjoyed telling me all about it. She decided it would be a fantastic idea to create me a account, sigh, I figured that it would just be a better idea to let her run with it, run its course, after all I could go and delete it later. I didn't actually go onto the profile that she created for me for about a week, once I did I was absolutely disgusted. You don't realize how many disgusting people have a profile on that website, its a sex obsessed thing. There is lots of people on there (since they changed it to meet me) looking for girls to chat up. I received about 25+ messages in the week period that she had set it up for me, and they were literally 'send me a picture' and 'do you want to dirty talk'. I can't even tell you how sex obsessed both the men and females were on that site. I decided to look through the messages, and delete them. Then I was seriously considering deleting the profile itself. While I was searching through the messages I came across one from Sam, it said "hello ^.^" 

Blogger snail mail

I got paired up with Lisa, over at kidandcapers. The idea of the blogger snail mail, was you get to know the person your paired with over a 4 week period, Then after that you send a little letter, and a gift (roughly £5 if I remember correctly). I love writing letters, so this really appealed to me, and sounded like fun. 

About Lisa
Lisa was absolutely lovely, she's a mummy which made it even better because when I was having a hard time during my pregnancy (I can hear you saying, 'which part') she was there for me and gave me some really useful advice. On getting to know her we came to realize we had quite a bit in common. I would definitely recommend heading over to her blog (kidandcapers) and have a little look for yourself. She blogs about parenting, beauty and there is the odd lifestyle post there too!

Hospital bag

Being a first time mum, the hardest thing is knowing what to pack for the hospital, as you may already be aware if your a regular reader - I have constantly been in and out of hospital during my pregnancy. So I think it is safe to say I have my hospital bag down and sorted! I actually got my bags ready when I was 30 weeks pregnant, I'm just really slacking on my posts! I have read tons of posts by other mummy's and I have also read through the lists that stores advise that you can take with you (such as matalan, and mothercare). After all of my research, I have kind of complied my own little list. I divided my stuff into two sections, because it helped me stay organised and it's what worked best for me personally! Most of the stuff I already have packed because I've been in and out of hospital, I've kept a hospital bag with my bits packed constantly encase I need it

Bump update

How far along:  35 weeks
Total weight: 94 kilos
Stretch marks: I do have stretch marks, although they don't really bother me, they do knock my confidence a little when I'm getting changed or whatever. However, they may fade after I've had Baby E.  
Best moments this week: Online baby shopping! I haven't really been able to go out or do much because I keep throwing up, and feeling genuinely poorly. So it's been really nice to have the laptop and buy things to make me feel better! Retail therapy.

Baby Buys

Recently there has been a lot of sales on, usually I write little wish lists, and they seem to be really popular posts, They're popular for me when i'm looking at other peoples blogs to. I think this is partly because I'm a really nosey person! Anyways, I thought I would take pictures, and let you view the little steals I made! There was lots of things that I lusted over, but then put back because they were similar to when I already purchased.

Money Monday


Learning how to budget
With my house move coming up, and a baby on the way, it's about time I start budgeting better! Sam is really good at budgeting and saving - but me, I'm not so great. So I thought why not take you on my little learning curve too! I'm usually a impulse buyer, However I am starting to stop and question myself. 'Do I need this?' or 'Will I use this?' as much as I hate to admit it, Sam is the one who started putting these questions in my head, Sometimes I will pick stuff up in a shop, and he will just look at me as if to say 'really? again?'. I think it helps having him there when I go shopping, he's saved me a fortune since we've been together.


Meal planning 
This is something we already do, and i have a upcoming post about this, so I'm not going to talk much about it. I know it sounds like a lot of work, but I have honestly found it so useful! Planning your meals a week ahead give's you the ability to slash the cost of that pesky grocery shop! Especially with the cost of food constantly rising, it helps to save the pennies where you can!

Birthday

I have to admit that I am really not a fan of Birthdays, I love other peoples birthdays, Buying gifts and picking out pretty wrapping. Yet when it comes to my birthday I absolutely hate it. I could give you a list as long as my arm as to why I don't like them, but where is the fun in that! The one thing that bothers me the most about birthdays, is all of the attention is one you, people buy you lovely gifts, give you cards, money or whatever. Which don't get me wrong is really nice, but it leaves me feeling awkward and uncomfortable. I don't know why it has this effect on me, it just does.


Bump update

How far along: 34 weeks
Total weight: 93 kilos.
Stretch marks: I have some, but not very bad ones. The midwife said they're quite faded compared to other ones that she see's.
Best moments this week: Getting back on my blog, I know I have been missing for a while, but I haven't had the motivation or energy to come on here and actually post. I don't ever want to force writing my blog, I started it as a hobby, and I would hate to feel like I had to write it. I have been writing my bump updates on my phone, but I didn't want to post them without editing them on here first, because call me fussy if you like, but I like them to be set out a certain way.

Bump update

How far along: 33 weeks
Total weight: 94 kilos.
Stretch marks: I have no more then I did last week, which is a relief.
Best moments this week: Hearing little lady's heart beat again, It's always nice to hear her heartbeat. It's reassuring, and I know that she is ok.
Miss anything: I miss feeling normal - by normal I mean feeling well. I don't think I have ever felt well since being pregnant.
Movement: Little lady is very active, every time she kicks it's reassurance that she is ok, it's nice to feel them kicks even if it does hurt me when she does kick. It hurts because her head is down, and she doesn't seem to want to budge anywhere else. I can assure you it is so uncomfortable when I walk to much!

Bump update

How far along: 32 weeks
Total weight: 94 kilos.
Stretch marks: I have no more then I did last week, So I have been keeping ontop of moisturizing. 
Best moments this week: Packing my hospital bag, it's made everything seem more real!
Miss anything: I miss my pre-pregnancy body! I miss my old clothes, everything is so uncomfortable, Not long left till little lady will be here, then I can concentrate on loosing the baby weight!

Catching up

When I first started this blog, I always said to myself that I would be nothing but honest, Even if it doesn't sound all that glamorous. These past few days have probably been the most worrying days I have ever had to deal with. Before you start reading, I just want to say please listen to your body, if you don't feel right it is always better to be safe then sorry.

On Thursday, we went shopping, It was a absolutely perfect day, Sam was off work, and we had some last minute things to buy, for the hospital bag, also bits and bobs that she still needed. Who knew you needed so much stuff. At about lunch time, I had said to Sam I wasn't feeling to great, and we decided to head home early. I had serious pains in my stomach, The only way I can think of describing it to you is like a stitch, but worse. If I turned, moved, walked, or even sat up after I had been laying down the pain would get worse. I was also feeling really tired and sick. I decided that I would wait it out and see if the pain went away, I was adamant that it was just a stitch, and it would be fine in the morning. Sam on the other hand wasn't so convinced. Being the worrier that he is, he took to google to investigate, he knows that I have a high pain thresh hold, and I wouldn't complain unless it was really bothering me. After typing in all the symptoms it came up with preterm labour. Sometimes it's known as Premature labour. I shrugged it off, said google always likes to exaggerate everything and ill see how i felt in the morning. With the promise that i would ring the midwife if it wasn't gone by morning - off to sleep I went. 

Bump update

How far along: 31 weeks
Total weight: 94 kilos, I've somehow lost .4 of a kilo but I've learnt to not worry about it anymore.
Stretch marks: I have no more then I did last week, I just find my skin is getting really itchy. So I have been moisturising lots.
Best moments this week: Packing my hospital bag, it's made everything seem more real!

4D bonding scan


Just before we went away on holiday, We had a 4D scan. As you may or may not know we previously paid for a Gender scan to be done privately (you can read the post here). We both wanted a 4D scan, and decided that we would have one with the same company who previously scanned us, and im glad we did. It was completely the right decision. The sonographer (Jill) was the same lady we had before. Which was a nice little touch. I was not expecting to be as amazed as I was, or as emotional come to think of it.

Holiday

So you may have noticed that I was on holiday last week! I had scheduled posts for everyday last week, which I'm happy to say they all managed to post without any hiccups. The signal where I was was absolutely rubbish, which in a way was really good because it meant that no one could contact me, and I could have a proper break from blogging and social media and just relax. Although I did try to get on twitter a few times, and searched my blog to make sure stuff actually uploaded. Naughty me!



Maternity leave

As of Monday 23rd, i'm officially on maternity leave, eek that is a really scary thought. I know this sounds really bizarre but it made pregnancy really sink in for me. I sat there and thought 'i'm actually going to be a mummy, this is really happening'. 


Bump update

How far along:  30 weeks!
Total weight: 94.4 Kilos *pats myself on my back* I actually remembered to weigh myself! I'm still under my pre-pregnancy weight, but the dietitian said it's positive step that I actually have gained something, and she isn't too worried.
Stretch marks: I have a few, but they actually don't bother me at all if i'm honest, I'm just grateful that Baby E is ok.
Best moments this week: Definitely has to be our 4D scan, i'm currently writing up a blog post about it, it will be full of pictures I promise. All I am saying is it was definitely worth the money, and i'm so happy that we actually went ahead and had the 4D scan. 
Miss anything:  strawberry and lime Kopparberg, Because we were on holiday last week, It made it harder, I think it is always harder when you know your not aloud something. It automatically makes you want it more I think. What I would have done for a cider on the beach. There is always next year. 

hello July

I cannot believe its July already, that means we're officially over half way through the year, how scary is that? before i know it Baby E will be here and it will be Christmas! At the beginning of the year I set myself some goals. they were:

One. Learn to drive
Two. Get another tattoo
Three. Go for a picnic
Four. Bring my baby into the world safetly
Five. Keep up to date with my blog
Six. Enjoy my maternity leave and get the house the way I want it before I go back to work

Seven. Go on holiday
Eight. Come off my anti-depressants without relapsing
Nine. Cook more home cooked food from scratch
Ten. Get back to my pre-pregnancy weight after the baby is born
Eleven. make her 1st christmas magical (even if she wont remember it)
Twelve. have a more positive outlook on life
Thirteen. Save better

I've already ticked some of these off, Wohoo! Five out of Thirteen isn't so bad.

Wish list #2

Today is a little wish list, There's lots of things I've been lusting after during June, so I thought I would share it with you. Before you start reading, I just want to remind you - this wish list is so random! there isn't a set theme or room for the stuff to go into. Its just things I have seen and fallen in love with. 


Letters #4

Dear my gorgeous little girl.
I can feel you kicking right now and it kind of inspired me to write this, you don't understand how loved you already are and you haven't even taken your first breathe yet. I still can't believe that your actually in there, you've been there 25 weeks now, It still doesn't feel real. 

I want you to know how much we fort for you, We went through 3 miscarriages, which were really tough. We'd lost hope when I fell pregnant with you, but i'm so thankful, and feel so blessed to have you. Especially after all the scares we went through to have you. Sometimes I feel a bit anxious about meeting you, and being a mother. Having the responsibility for another life seems a bit daunting. I'm worried i will fail you, or you wont be happy when you grow up and it will somehow be my fault. Your daddy always reassures me i'll be a good mum, and you'll love me, but it doesn't stop me worrying.

Bump update

How far along: 29 weeks
Total weight: I still haven't weighed myself.
Stretch marks: It's the same as last week really, I have a few but to be honest, they haven't got any worse, or bigger or darker which is a good sign.
Best moments this week: We had our 4D scan this week, I'm not going to reveal to much because I have a blog post coming up later in the week, With lots of pictures and information about the scan.
Miss anything: I miss the joy of eating. For my entire pregnancy, eating has been tainted by morning sickness, followed by indigestion. The biggest thing i look forward to after giving birth is eating as much as i like without worrying about regretting it later!

Things they forget to tell you when your pregnant

Being pregnant is made out to be such a fabulous thing, you feel that little baby growing inside you. Focused on buying/finding that perfect outfit. It never occurs to you that it might not be easy sailing. Here's a few things i found that no one told me about.

Bump touching
Something I really wasn't prepared for, I didn't think it would effect me as much as it does. Suddenly everyone feels like they have the right to rub and pat your growing belly. Excuse me but did I miss the memo about loosing my personal space? Honestly it's like my belly isn't attached to the rest of my body anymore. The smiling and touching of the belly soon makes the conversation very awkward. It's always such a weird situation to be in, What do you say? Where do you look? What do you do? Smile like a numpty and hope they stop - yeah got it in one. 

Holiday

So I'm writing this on Sunday, for Monday. While you're reading this i will be heading to sunny (hopefully) Hemsby. If you've never heard of Hemsby before it's a beautiful little seaside village in Norfolk, on the east coast of England. It's 5 miles north of Gt. Yarmouth. It's one of my Favourite places in England.


Letters #3

Dear, My husband-to-be

I know this year has been kind of a whirlwind, Our plans got changed, and stuff got tipped on its head. I just wanted to write this because I feel like I don't tell you enough, how much you really mean to me. I'm so proud to call you mine, I want you for the rest of my life. I'm not afraid for you to know that. 

I feel like you've made me into a better person, I know I sometimes take you for granted, but I really don't mean to. I'm disappointed that we had to postpone our wedding, But it was for a very good reason, our little lady came along and turned everything upside down, plus I really don't want to be waddling down the isle. It doesn't mean I love you any less, it just means I want the day to be absolutely perfect for us. 

© Raising Emily

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